Its true what they say, reflection on an experience comes a long time after the experience is over. (wait...do they actually say that? I think I just made it up). In any case.. Its been exactly 20 days since I came back from Kenya, and Im just now beginning to put my experience in perspective.. Ever since I came, people have been asking me "How was it?" and I just replied "It was great!" and even though I have given bits and pieces of information about the country and some anecdotes and so on, I wasnt able to explain the whole story, nor tell my closest friends what this trip really meant to me...
I guess this is also because last days have been full of stress and financial-crisis-related worries and depression; and today is the first day since I arrived back to the island that I can relax and have nothing much to do.. On the one hand its kind of disturbing, Im so used to thinking "I have to do this and that" that this day seems empty and I dont know how to handle it.. On the other hand, an empty day starts to fill with thoughts and this is a bad thing only if you cant stand to be alone with your thoughts, which means that something is not quite right... Most of the time I cant, but today, out of nowhere, Im beginning to realize what the trip to Kenya meant to me...
Every single time I go traveling feels magical, even if its a day trip to get out of the city... So imagine a far-away journey to a completely unknown country, to a completely mysterious to me continent, a little bit scary, very exciting, with a daunting task to be completed. I had an amazing time... But I just realized today, it wasn't just the excitement of immersing in a whole new world, it wasnt just the thrill of exploring a completely different culture, the joy of meeting, talking to and appreciating new and interesting people.. What made this trip special, and every trip (almost) that I ve taken so far, is the letting go of the self.. the feeling of starting over somewhere new, the potential that lies there, the possibility of doing better, of being better.. of being someone happier, more interesting, more successful. Someone who does things that count and who feels good about life. Did I have to go as far as Kenya to get all these feelings? Thats the thing, I realized today. I appreciated feeling all these things in Kenya cause thats what Im lacking here.. Every time I am in Cyprus, I feel inadequate. Life here is not bad, Im enjoying moments... but I lose myself.. I dont like who I am when Im here, even though I do things that kind of count and things that I kind of like... But its every time (every time!!!) I leave Cyprus that I feel myself again and all these feelings return..
Anyway, Im guessing that my trip to self-discovery is not of interest to anyone else and how Kenya actually was might be. Impressions and photos to follow soon!
I guess this is also because last days have been full of stress and financial-crisis-related worries and depression; and today is the first day since I arrived back to the island that I can relax and have nothing much to do.. On the one hand its kind of disturbing, Im so used to thinking "I have to do this and that" that this day seems empty and I dont know how to handle it.. On the other hand, an empty day starts to fill with thoughts and this is a bad thing only if you cant stand to be alone with your thoughts, which means that something is not quite right... Most of the time I cant, but today, out of nowhere, Im beginning to realize what the trip to Kenya meant to me...
Every single time I go traveling feels magical, even if its a day trip to get out of the city... So imagine a far-away journey to a completely unknown country, to a completely mysterious to me continent, a little bit scary, very exciting, with a daunting task to be completed. I had an amazing time... But I just realized today, it wasn't just the excitement of immersing in a whole new world, it wasnt just the thrill of exploring a completely different culture, the joy of meeting, talking to and appreciating new and interesting people.. What made this trip special, and every trip (almost) that I ve taken so far, is the letting go of the self.. the feeling of starting over somewhere new, the potential that lies there, the possibility of doing better, of being better.. of being someone happier, more interesting, more successful. Someone who does things that count and who feels good about life. Did I have to go as far as Kenya to get all these feelings? Thats the thing, I realized today. I appreciated feeling all these things in Kenya cause thats what Im lacking here.. Every time I am in Cyprus, I feel inadequate. Life here is not bad, Im enjoying moments... but I lose myself.. I dont like who I am when Im here, even though I do things that kind of count and things that I kind of like... But its every time (every time!!!) I leave Cyprus that I feel myself again and all these feelings return..
Anyway, Im guessing that my trip to self-discovery is not of interest to anyone else and how Kenya actually was might be. Impressions and photos to follow soon!
1 comment:
an eisai a8kiaseri piase kanena til tin aderfoula sou. exw k sta8ero an de 8eleis na xreonese :P
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