Life is taking unexpected turns.. Im afraid that soon, I ll have to take some life- changing decisions, which will involve letting go of something that I love.. but whether that will be my cat or my boyfriend or my dreams, I don't really know yet. (I love my cat, but he would be the easiest to give up on, honestly... Im just afraid he will be the only one I get to keep at the end).
Scenarios are going through my head, worse-case scenarios, best-case scenarios, what-if scenarios, etc. I don't know how to deal with any of them coming true. But as we say in greek, "the cube has been dropped" (ο κύβος ερρίφθην, lame translation but oh well). It means that the begining has already happened. Life changes have begun already and there was nothing I could really do about it.
So now what? It depends a little bit on luck... It depends on my determination, or lack of... It depends on someone else as well.. how much he is willing to give.. That's the worse actually. Its not just me anymore, following my "heart" or my "dreams" or simply trying to escape Cyprus. There's someone else there and everything else seems secondary... It seems... but is it worth it? I won't know unless I've tried it, right? Is it worth getting a new flavor of ice-cream, when all your life you've been having the same flavors over and over again? You wont know unless you try. (its always a dilemma for me, I love caramel and chocolate cookie ice-cream, but I do want to try new flavors.. thing is, if you dont like the new flavors, its not worth the calories and you miss the pleasure of caramel and chocolate cookie ice-cream).
So whats it gonna be? I wish someone could just tell me soon whats gonna happen. I have no patience for this. Maybe this is a good opportunity to practice that skill. I ll just have to wait and see.. and in the meantime think about it well, so I can be prepared for the choice I ll have to make soon...
Life is difficult...
Scenarios are going through my head, worse-case scenarios, best-case scenarios, what-if scenarios, etc. I don't know how to deal with any of them coming true. But as we say in greek, "the cube has been dropped" (ο κύβος ερρίφθην, lame translation but oh well). It means that the begining has already happened. Life changes have begun already and there was nothing I could really do about it.
So now what? It depends a little bit on luck... It depends on my determination, or lack of... It depends on someone else as well.. how much he is willing to give.. That's the worse actually. Its not just me anymore, following my "heart" or my "dreams" or simply trying to escape Cyprus. There's someone else there and everything else seems secondary... It seems... but is it worth it? I won't know unless I've tried it, right? Is it worth getting a new flavor of ice-cream, when all your life you've been having the same flavors over and over again? You wont know unless you try. (its always a dilemma for me, I love caramel and chocolate cookie ice-cream, but I do want to try new flavors.. thing is, if you dont like the new flavors, its not worth the calories and you miss the pleasure of caramel and chocolate cookie ice-cream).
So whats it gonna be? I wish someone could just tell me soon whats gonna happen. I have no patience for this. Maybe this is a good opportunity to practice that skill. I ll just have to wait and see.. and in the meantime think about it well, so I can be prepared for the choice I ll have to make soon...
Life is difficult...
No comments:
Post a Comment