Leaving New York. Sitting outside my gate in JFK, waiting to board (after accidentally trying to board on the earlier LOT flight, too bad that difnt work, I could have more time to explore Warsaw).
I wish I could say I have mixed feelings, but I dont really. Im happy, oh so happy to go home. Not a tiny bit sad to leave. Im glad I came, no doubt about that. I ve been thinking and dreaming about NY since the day I left. I thought I would have been more nostalgic, but luckily, it was the opposite. I realised that life moved on. After spending one afternoon desperately looking for remnants of the past, I accepted that it s just been too long. The past doesnt come back to us, but memories will last for as long as you can treasure them. And I do treasure them, so much. But Im ready to face the fact that Im growing up, that I need to shape my future, that I ll never be a happy-go-lucky intern ever again. And that makes me happy, for some reason. Im ready to move on.
These passed days I walked and walked, for hours, every day, trying to absorb every vibe of the city. I love this city so much. But its not my city anymore, Im just a tourist. And it probably never again be. Its a city for the young, and the fast, and the succesfull and I just dont fit this category. And people who dont fit any of these characteristics will simply never entirely belong here. I used to think that this is a city for everyone, but that was just an illusion. And beyond the shiny surface, the lives of the people can't be that happy. Endless working hours, casual relationships and so much rush. Probably there was a time whenI wouldnt mind these things, but now I do. Kind of, dont get me wrong, given the chance I would move to NY tomorrow. But it wouldnt be forever and it would be a consious acceptance of all the city's flaws.
So goodbye NY. Who knows when, if ever, I ll see you again. Goodbye unfulfilled dream. Im starting over now, without your shadow.
I wish I could say I have mixed feelings, but I dont really. Im happy, oh so happy to go home. Not a tiny bit sad to leave. Im glad I came, no doubt about that. I ve been thinking and dreaming about NY since the day I left. I thought I would have been more nostalgic, but luckily, it was the opposite. I realised that life moved on. After spending one afternoon desperately looking for remnants of the past, I accepted that it s just been too long. The past doesnt come back to us, but memories will last for as long as you can treasure them. And I do treasure them, so much. But Im ready to face the fact that Im growing up, that I need to shape my future, that I ll never be a happy-go-lucky intern ever again. And that makes me happy, for some reason. Im ready to move on.
These passed days I walked and walked, for hours, every day, trying to absorb every vibe of the city. I love this city so much. But its not my city anymore, Im just a tourist. And it probably never again be. Its a city for the young, and the fast, and the succesfull and I just dont fit this category. And people who dont fit any of these characteristics will simply never entirely belong here. I used to think that this is a city for everyone, but that was just an illusion. And beyond the shiny surface, the lives of the people can't be that happy. Endless working hours, casual relationships and so much rush. Probably there was a time whenI wouldnt mind these things, but now I do. Kind of, dont get me wrong, given the chance I would move to NY tomorrow. But it wouldnt be forever and it would be a consious acceptance of all the city's flaws.
So goodbye NY. Who knows when, if ever, I ll see you again. Goodbye unfulfilled dream. Im starting over now, without your shadow.
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