Nothing can you prepare you for the psychological roller coaster that is parenthood. Or should I say motherhood? Is it the same for dads? I really dont think so.. Well, not for this dad.. Hes going through his own journey, but his struggles are not so much parenthood-related. No.. I dont think its the same for dads.. they don't agonize about the baby throwing up, or if it's eating too much, or if it's sleeping too much during the day and not enough at night.. they don't get up in the middle of the night, they don't jump out of their beds every time they hear a choking sound coming from the pram. It's so hard. And it's lonely. Does it get easier? Is it just that first 18 years that are difficult?

I know that all these worries come from the mind.. If I could manage to be calm and not worry so much, things would be easier for me. I don't know why I worry so much. I want her to be happy and not cry all the time. I hate it when she cries, even if sometimes I laugh a little, cause her cry is so funny and cute.

It's been 6 challenging weeks. I knew from the beginning that life would never be the same again, but Im also slowly realizing it..Life will never be the same again. And I will never be the same person I was before.

I have to get it together. There will be easy times and more difficult ones. It will be worth it. It will be ok. She ll grow a bit older and she will not be so fragile, it will get easier to breath.

It will get easier, wont it?