New life, again

Transition period, once more.

It's strange, and yet it feels natural, that I'm always fleeing my comfort zone, living in the space in between. I live in a constant state of un-settlement. For some people, it's easy to forget that life is unpredictable, that things change all the time and that anything could happen at any moment. Not for me.. I'm in constant vigilance, expecting anything to happen at any time. Change of house, change of job, change of friends, change of country.. and worse things. It's all in the schedule. It makes me tired. But I can't imagine life any other way. 

Has traveling too much and living in so many different places spoiled me for life? Why can't I just settle and breath in ease for a while? 

Maybe no one is really there, maybe they are all pretending to be, but deep down they also expect an overthrow to their perfectly planned lives. Or maybe I'm slowly getting there; to the linear, predictable existence. Or something that looks like it. 

No one really wants to live like that, right? Or at least that's what most people say. But the price is high for living a life of adventure and emotion. You are never really at peace. You have to deal with change, accept the temporary nature of all things, move away from the known, the comfortable. It's hard. 

But it's the only way to grow. So, soon, I ll be leaving my perfect house behind, and I ll be moving on, to something different. There will be a new place to call home. And my perfect housemate will be replaced by someone different. And there's no other way, it has to be done. It does feel like this circle is closing, but I'm holding on to it just a little bit longer. I just want to live it a bit more, to enjoy it to the fullest. I'm always the one who wants to "leave the party while I'm having fun", but in this case, I'm gonna drag it a bit longer. 

There's no avoiding it though. I have to move on. And I'm happy about it. It's a step deeper into adulthood. It's life taken to the next level. It feels weird, but I think I'm ready. I actually kind of look forward to it. It's scary, but exciting. I just hope I don't lose myself in the process. 

I'm ready for growth.